On 1st January this year, the UK transition period with the EU ended, marking the beginning of a new era of independence from our erstwhile continental cousins. Brexit, as we were so often told, finally did mean Brexit. But I’d hate to throw the culinary baby out with the bureaucratic bathwater. For all our bluster, we are really quite European in culture, and nowhere is that more apparent than in our cuisine.
Walk down any UK high street and you’ll find half a dozen Italian restaurants, even if some of them have the shutters down permanently thanks to the pandemic. You’re also fairly likely to encounter a French bistro, Spanish tapas bar, Irish pub and perhaps even a German craft beer hall in those neighbourhoods entering their final throes of gentrification. Admittedly, the likes of Latvia, Lithuania and Luxembourg are rather less well represented. But it was in a spirit of friendship and open-mindedness that I embarked on my latest (and hopefully last) lockdown challenge: cooking (and consuming) a typical dish from each of the 27 EU member states.
1) Wiener Schnitzel (Austria)
Perfect with a pint, or indeed a stein, of Austrian beer, the schnitzel in its purest form is a veal cutlet hammered to a quarter inch thickness with a meat tenderiser and fried in breadcrumbs. Commonly served with a simple potato salad (be generous with the chives, hold the mayo), this dish is sufficiently popular to merit its own national day on 9th September.
2) Moules-Frites (Belgium)
First formulated from the succulent mussels of the Flemish coast, this winning Belgian staple sees the shellfish served in a delicate sauce of white wine and creme fraiche. Add a dash of pernod for a hint of anise sophistication, and make sure to serve the thin fries separately to avoid losing their crispiness.
3) Goulash (Hungary)
Goulash. Makes me hungry every time. Named after the gulyás (herdsmen) who once drove their cattle over the Great Hungarian Plain, this stew is made with beef, chunky peppers and lashings of paprika. The tomatoes are apparently a 20th century addition, but an imperative one to round out the umami flavours with a touch of acidity.
4) Danish Pastries (Denmark)
These require a lot of love and attention to make but are undoubtedly worth it. The puff pastry alone is a marathon, entailing 3-4 ‘turns’ where the dough is folded to create those delicious flaky layers and requires at least an hour in the fridge between each one. Then it’s on with the creme patisserie, fresh raspberries, apricot jam and lemon icing (in careful stages) to create this buffet breakfast fit for an emperor.
5) Squid Ink Risotto (Croatia)
Something of a novelty creation, this risotto’s unorthodox black colouring comes from the addition of a few drops of darkest squid ink. As well as their obsidian secretions, the squid also supply chewy rings of shellfish to complete this iconoclastic rice dish. Let’s just say it’s an acquired taste.
6) Shopska Salad (Bulgaria)
With culinary roots winding through the Balkan peninsula, this summer salad shares an ancestor with its better-known Greek cousin. However, instead of feta, this healthy, yet deeply satisfying, lunch option is topped with the zingy notes of Bulgarian white brine sirene cheese.
7) Irish Stew (Ireland)
It’s Ireland, the rain’s been pouring down since dawn and it won’t be stopping until next Tuesday. But you don’t mind because you’re holed up in the pub with this gloriously rich stew of lamb and suet dumplings. Rounded out with onions, leeks, carrots and, inevitably, potatoes, pair this one with a pint of Guinness to put hairs on your chest.
8) Tarte Tatin (France)
Halved apples in a rich, sticky syrup caramelised over high heat and served atop flaky, golden-brown pastry. It’s the sort of dessert that could only have originated in a French kitchen. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream for maximum indulgence. Sacré bleu!
9) Kiluvõileib (Estonia)
Fresh and flavour packed, this open sandwich showcases the silver skins of marinated Baltic sprat. These oily morsels are delicious on their own, but the addition of crumbly rye bread, hard boiled eggs and macerated red onions take them to the next level.
10) Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte (Germany)
German cuisine gets a bad press internationally, but banish the sauerkraut and bring out the pudding menu because this cherry flavoured chocolate cake is a winner. Assembled from three layers of chocolate sponge, a cauldron full of kirsch cream, tart raspberry jam and glistening fresh cherries, it’s just what the doctor ordered. That is, if you share a doctor with the late John Candy.
11) Judd mat Gaardebounen (Luxembourg)
What comes to mind if I tell you that I’m dining tonight in Luxembourg? I’ll wager your expectations aren’t sky-high. But prepare to be confounded because this salty, creamy concoction of pork served with broad beans really hits the spot. I make no apologies for substituting the traditional flaccid sponge of boiled ham for a crispy, pan-seared gammon steak.
12) Moussaka (Greece)
Layers of minced lamb, wholesome aubergine slices, Mediterranean tomatoes and lashings of cheese sauce, what’s not to like about this majestic Greek staple. Feel free to get excited, but don’t smash the plates just yet. You’ll be needing them for second helpings.
13) Pizza (Italy)
Perhaps the most ubiquitous dish on this list, you can probably find pizza in any city in the world, let alone the European ones. Keep the base thin and crispy, and leave the reconstituted meat in the dog food bowl – we don’t want any of that transatlantic nonsense here. San Marzano tomatoes, buffalo mozzarella and a few basil leaves are all you need. This isn’t just pizza; this is Napoli pizza.
14) Kulajda (Czechia)
I’m all for winter warmers, but this creamy mushroom soup is so thick you could probably stand your spoon it. Still though it’s full of fungal flavours, and, with a good handful of fresh dill, plus a splash of white wine vinegar, you’ll soon be wolfing it down like a true bohemian.
15) Stuffat tal-Fenek (Malta)
If only Mr McGregor had known about this one, he might just have gone that extra mile to catch those pesky rabbits. This bunny-based stew has a gentle gamey flavour that is complimented by bay leaves, oregano and a generous glug of cabernet sauvignon.
16) Potica (Slovenia)
It looks like a cake, but it tastes like a bread; your taste buds will be incredulous the first time they slide into a slice of this Slovenian nut roll dessert traditionally served on Palm Sunday. The distinctive swirled interior is made by covering the flattened dough in a filling of walnuts, raisins and honey, then rolling it into a long tube. Bake in a bundt tin to achieve the signature ring-shaped finish.
17) Bigos (Poland)
“In the pots warmed the bigos; mere words cannot tell / Of its wondrous taste, colour and marvellous smell.” So writes Adam Mickiewiscz in his 1834 epic extolling the virtues of this slow-cooked Polish nostalgia trip. A meat-lover’s dream, it may be made with any or all of pork, beef, veal, poultry, game and kielbasa (Polish smoked sausage). As for the marvellous smell, my abiding memory is the sauerkraut.
18) Hollandse Nieuwe (Netherlands)
New season herring isn’t just a snack; in the Netherlands, it’s an institution. Festivities officially begin in early June with the auction of the first tub and, from then on, you’ll see it cropping up on every street corner. Taking table manner cues from the creature Gollum, the raw fish is eaten by grasping the tail and lowering it into one’s gaping mouth.
19) Bacalhau à Brás (Portugal)
I hope you don’t have high blood pressure because this recipe of cured cod, onions and fried potatoes bound together with scrambled eggs contains enough salt to shrivel Jabba the Hut. Serve with glistening black olives and a handful of fresh parsley.
20) Grybukai (Lithuania)
Another labour of love; don’t expect to attend any social engagements the weekend you tackle these mushroom shaped cookies. First up is the dough preparation, infused with honey, ginger, cloves and nutmeg. Once cooked and assembled, the stems are iced and dipped in poppy seeds for an earthy finish, while the caps are coated in shiny chocolate ganache.
21) Paella (Spain)
Paella isn’t only this dish’s name, it’s the name of the dish. The cooking dish that is. Traditionally prepared in a wide steel pan with handles on either side, the vessel produces a delicious base layer of roasted rice called socarrat. For me, the juicy shellfish is perfectly complemented by shallow fried slices of chorizo, but don’t mention that to the Valencians.
22) Lohikeitto (Finland)
Ward off those icy winds from Lapland with this hearty salmon soup. Made with thick chunks of salmon, cubed potatoes, leeks, cream and plenty of dill, it’s sure to bring a smile to your face in the dark days of winter. Add a touch of allspice to dial up the comfort factor.
23) Sarmale (Romania)
Salty, meaty, slightly acidic parcels of concentrated flavour, these cabbage rolls will have your caveman cravings firing on all cylinders. Tightly wrapped around a filling of minced pork, onion, garlic and a scattering of red pepper flakes, the rolls are steeped in tomato juice and baked in the oven until they become outrageously succulent.
24) Klingeris (Latvia)
It’s Latvia, it’s your birthday and what better way to celebrate than with this pretzel-shaped sweet bread infused with saffron and cardamom. The raisin-studded dough is brushed with beaten egg and sprinkled with almonds for a nutty, golden-brown finish. Serve warm with icing sugar and strawberry jam.
25) Bryndzové Halušky (Slovakia)
Potatoes. Fry them, mash them, roast them, but for God’s sake don’t grate them, squeeze them and try to make dumplings (halušky). Perhaps that’s a little uncharitable, as the end product with sour sheep’s cheese (bryndza) and crispy lardons definitely takes the curse off.
26) Halloumi Sandwich (Cyprus)
When the Earl of Sandwich first slapped a few slices together all those years ago, he could not have dreamt of the majestic heights his humble creation would reach. Say farewell to your egg and cress, and get ready for seared halloumi, roasted peppers, glorious fresh tomatoes, oregano and dark kalamata olives served up in a toasted ciabatta.
27) Köttbullar (Sweden)
With a popularity on par with the likes of Abba and Ikea, this is a gift to the world the Swedes can be proud of. Chunky meatballs, cream sauce, smooth mash and sharp lingonberries all come together for a palate full of fireworks. Now if only the EU member states worked this well together…
End Note
Thanks to my father for sourcing many of the ingredients for this challenge and for his artistic flag design skills. Thanks to the rest of my family for allowing me to hijack the menu for two months and helping me eat through my creations.
If you enjoyed this article, check out my other recent lockdown challenge here. Or, for more exotic taste sensations, find out about my encounter with the world’s most offensive fruit here.